End of school year

As I sit here and thinbk about the about what has happened since Aug.It all seems like it has just flown by.Gracie is out for the summer now going into the 2nd grade.How time flies.Just yesterday i was really worried because i didn't know who her teacher was.last year she had a very sweet and Godly women.i am very worrisome mother hen.i want someone who is going teach my babies and show them the right way about things.this is how i see it you go to school to learn.not to act up,play in the classroom but do what the teacher says.go above what they expect u do to.that way when your in the real world you can make it.poor gracie the only time she got in trouble is when she was talking.at first i was really hard on her about that.but she is a talker.poor thing she gets it after me.but don't tell my hubby that/he will be saying i told u so.we have faced so much this school year has we did last one but this time not just with her kidneys but with my mom as well.Gracie is very close to Nanna.She is the first grand born in our family.And when i worked at the daycare we would stay there a lot.So she has been taking this very hard.She doesn't understand that God almost took her Nanna and that now she is here she is not her self.But boy Gracie has made it through another school year.I am truly thankful.   

Counting My Blessings

I have so much to be thankful for and I always try to keep that in my mind.Even when I am really down after taking care of momma.

1. Being saved! I am so glad I know where I am going when the Lord calls me home.
2. My health, there are so many people worse off than me. 
3. My hubby! Steven works so hard trying to take care of me and the kids.I am so glad to call him mine.
4. My babies! Gracie and Corbin.They are my world.Love them so much even when they get on my very last nerve in my body but i would not trade it for anything in this world for.
5. My Dad and Momma we have been through so muchin my 33 years on  this planet.I am glad i still have them and I can be a blessing to them.
6. My brothers and their familys.They keep me going when i see no light at the end of my tunnel.Know if i need to talk to them i can always call them.
7. My inlaws and their familes they are always there for me when i need them.Even if its just to talk or hear me vent.
8. My friends that i have had for years and years regradless if we haven't seen each other in years they will always pray for me and my family if need be and i for them.
I have more things to be thankful for but this is just a start.God has been so good to me even when I haven't been to Him.  

I need help

Today is my mommas birthday.I am happy that she has made it this far.But i feel so stressed!I am so stressed out i really don't think i can take much more.I pray and pray for my family and i still feel like i am alone.I have to deal with everything it seems by myself.I have my husband and my kids here.I have to worry about the bills gracies kidneys and bladder and try to fully pottytrain corbin for school.Plus try to keep up with my housework.I was doing good until i hurt my elbow and it just had to be my right one.Then i run up to my parents and spend a couple of days there cleaning cooking and taking care of momma along with taking care of my kids.I don't know if i am doing the right thing or not with anything i am doing these days.I am so wore out it is unreal.I feel like i can't go anymore.But i have too.I just wish i had help.My brothers come and stay maybe an hour but everything else is left up to me.I take care of everybody else but myself and all i want to do is go to bed and not get up.But i have too.There is no one else.and when i am here i have to worry about if daddy can handle her till i get there.Lord i know u won't put so much on me then i can handle please let up some. 

Today is just a day

Today when i woke up i told myself that it was going to be better and i tried for it to be.Got Gracie up earlier cause she had to finish homework and when u get her up earlier she is a MONSTER!!Then went about my usual thing until Daddy called at seven saying Momma has been up since 2 asking for me.That makes me feel so guilty no one would believe or understand.Couldn't go up there like i had planned because didn't have a way so that made me feel worse.But I know things come up.And way Steven came home real early so next weeks check will be short.The life of  mine always not knowing if we r going to have enough money to pay bills and feed our kids at the same time.I know it will get better because it always has.I just wish I felt better nad could stop hurting.Tomorrow will be another day.

A Cry Baby Day

My life is never dull moment.If its not my kids yelling,crying or needing something its something else that goes wrong.Ever since I was younger I had to take care of someone.Being my younger brothers or even taking care of house work.Sometimes its just nice if someone would say I will take care of it or I will get that for you.And now that my momma almost passed away its just that more stress on me. I am soo glad God didn't take her that Thursday,but she is suffering the way she is now.She doesn't know us half the time now.That makes it just a little bit harder for me.I feel like I have the weight of the world on me right now and noone will help take a chuck off.